We lag on the blog. Sup. So! We put out the request on the books of face to see what YOU want US to talk about on here!
The request: click here
Are you kidding me bro? I seriously just try to go about my day, look over and this fucker KILLS me.
I'm going to tell you the adoption story of this jack hole. Last year February something, Tush from Neon Skates and her husband friend Marc are in town from Montreal. Nice little vacation in So Cal for them. For a couple months - I'd just been THINKING about getting a dog. Nothing more nothing less - just thought bubbles. The 3 of us took a little trip over to Sure-Grip and one of their employees found a dog. This pit mix was f'ing GORGEOUS and seeing that sassy lass have to go to the pound tugged at my heart strings. Suddenly at that moment I needed a dog in my life. Like now. I told Strychnine so she chucked me into her truck & we went to the pound. I'm walking the lines & it's like there are only chihuahuas and pits for adoption. Feeling like Goldilocks where one is too small and the other is too big ... I had to find a dog that's JUST right ...
So I walk passed that face up there and he looks at me. I look at him. He walks forward, puts his paws on the side of the cage thing & does the dog down stretch. I think - okay. You're kinda cute. He then realizes that I'm looking at him, he looks away like 'oh hey girl' and just OWNS this stretch. That's it. You're my dog.
PLUS!! I look at his name tag - original name is Niko. My cats name is Mia (and home girl is like a decade old & I've had her for about 9 years) and my good friend Mia Roller has a kid named Niko AND I need human Mia to help convince my landlord (she works for him) to write me that fancy letter to the pound that I can has dog. All of the coincidences that this dog is going to be MY DOG.
I tell the lady at the front desk that I want to take Niko home. 'Do you want to walk him and get to know him?' Nope - I just want to take him home right now & here is my credit card. UGH FINE I WILL HANG OUT WITH HIM IN THE PARKING LOT. Hey Strychnine - since I named Shit Pants, you get to name this guy. What do you want to name him?
Oh. Okay? You sure? Yep. There you have it. Then the next day we find out that she is pregnant and not only were her baby hormones kicking that I needed a dog .... her pregnant fun pants was thinking about food.
I am OBSESSED with the Hulu series The Yard so just watch around ... okay ... I can't find the moment where the one kid explains why they're called Chesticles though it's f'ing hilarious. So just watch this whole episode. You're welcome! (found! it's around the 8:45 mark - DYING!!)
I also like how the one kid with the curly hair just farts all the time. He giggles. I giggle. Everyone wins.
SO. When it's January'ish and you almost snap the right achilles and have to go on the roller derby IR AND THEN the only thing that you can do at CrossFit are push ups. You'll start to get guns. Then in April when you roll your dumb left ankle, smuggle a tennis ball in there for about a week and can only do push ups at CrossFit ... you too can has guns!!
The lady on the left is hilarious and her mom collects Bob Mackie Barbie Dolls. Strychnine demands that Kat text us pictures of these dolls. A doll a day if you will.
SEXY B INJECTIONS!
I have a problem where I'm REALLY trusting of my friends and I pretty much let them do whatever they want ... to me ... because it usually always sounds like a good idea. Charmer is a ref at the Angel City Derby Girls and moonlights as a massage therapist during the day. One of the docs at her office gives her B injection things that she can give to us. OMFG they are fantastical! Get one if you can! The weird part is that you instantly get this mouthful of vitamin flavor so don't eat anything that'll give you indigestion because you'll taste what you had for dinner AND vitamins.
Seriously BJ Stevens - did you know that this is my comfort food? Whenever I'm having a day - I head right the fuck on over to Panera and get their half grilled cheese, half tomato soup and get the baget as a side so there are more things to dunk into the tomato soup. Comfort drink? Chocolate milk.
LACKIES, WAFFLES, MEAT SITTING AND BOOBS
Alright Cheeky - I've already discussed 3 out of the four things so MEAT!!
Since I convinced Miss Krissy Krash to get a dog, I dog sit while she travels! He's a puppy - obviously. He's also part chihuahua and for the love of gawd all he does is pee. HI I'M EXCITED! I tinkle. HI I'M NERVOUS. I tinkle. Even if you walk him 7 times in 3 minutes - I seriously don't know where all of it comes from because I also limited his water intake though ZOMG HE JUST PEES. And I feel bad because all I want to do is snuggle with him though for the love of gawd he just pees. So our bonding time included a bath in my kitchen sink every night. Oh - he & Waffles are also in love. Meat did stop by today to show me that he learned the 'paw' command and whole lee chit is it adorable.
BACON, UNICORNS AND CAKE VODKA
My favorite thing to do with a bucket of bacon is to cook it up all crispy, chop up some kale and beats. BOOM!! Best f'ing meal ever.
Power animals at ACDG are pretty popular and some of us have unicorns as our inner power animal. Or maybe I just lied to your face and wanted a reason to share this picture. Here is my inner power animal.
Who drinks Cake Vodka? That just sounds like a headache & a shitty hang over. Not even like black out good decisions drinking ... just a miserable experience.
I see your Beavis & Butthead reference Miss Reno http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TELar9Rfd0k ... and raise you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knL5zY1LRqw